Is longing for a life you used to have keeping you from fully engaging with the life you have now or making it impossible to choose wisely for the future?
If you keep wanting to go back to what you had despite circumstances that make that look impossible, how will you make the best of where you are today or even be able to imagine what you want in the future? Your mind keeps going to what you lost. “I don’t want anything else— I want that!” But sometimes you can’t go back to what you had. It doesn’t exist. Or it’s no longer affordable. Or the place and people have changed or are no longer with us. I have had the experience of going back to somewhere I was longing to be and no longer feeling at home there. Sometimes you really “can’t go home again.”
“You can’t go back home to your family, back home to your childhood … back home to a young man’s dreams of glory and of fame … back home to places in the country, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting, but which are changing all the time – back home to the escapes of Time and Memory.” — from the book “You Can’t Go Home Again” by Thomas Wolfe
Yes, a miracle could happen. But if years go by and you’re still waiting for a miracle . . . maybe the miracle you’re waiting for needs to occur inside you. Something that will fill your heart with song could be right around the corner! Of course, it might be a different corner, but there is love and joy and moments of gladness to be found wherever you are.
Longing for the old days is particularly common later in life when you begin to believe that the best days of your life are behind you and there is nothing to look forward to that could ever compare. It is also very common if you can’t complete a grieving process, just can’t accept that what you once cherished so much is gone.
How to shift?
Try Honeysuckle and Star of Bethlehem. And if you blame yourself add in Pine.
Honeysuckle is the main flower essence I had in mind when I started this post. It’s specific for being stuck in nostalgia for days gone by and feeling like nothing else is good enough because you can’t have that. Perhaps you even have regrets about the past that you don’t know how to fix now. Perhaps it’s too late for that. Honeysuckle helps you embrace the present. You can remember the past and learn from it, but the present moment is where you live and where all future joys can stem from.
Star of Bethlehem provides soothing relief for trauma and pain. It’s essential for letting go of grief about tragedies that have occurred. It’s like a sigh of relief. It brings deep comfort.
Pine is for when your regrets include self-blame and criticism, in particular if you feel guilty and can’t forgive yourself. Pine brings peace to your heart, more light, and relief from melancholy.