We almost always want to blame conditions outside of ourselves for our stress and anxiety—either specific people, the world situation, or a problem we don’t know how to address (yet).
But what if we flip this on its head and consider the possibility of the biggest problem being inside ourselves—our attitude towards life or these specific people or situations and not the situations and people themselves!
This sounds like blaming the victim and that’s not my intent. Abuse is abuse and that requires more help than flower essences are typically going to address. But even in THAT situation we have the power to control what happens inside us in terms of the stories we tell ourselves.
So, for example, let’s talk about abuse, spousal abuse—you’re being hit and he says it’s all your fault. He wouldn’t do it if you didn’t piss him off so much by doing “xyz.” If you believe that, then there is double the abuse going on. Self-hatred on top of hatred from outside. Which will make you depressed, hopeless, and scared. “Who will believe me? They’ll take his side!” Etc., etc. So you don’t get help and things get worse.
It’s NOT your fault. Of course, you learned this somewhere. So this is not to say that this is an “easy” situation to shift on your own. But let’s take a crack at it from a flower essence point of view.
You’re feeling depressed, hopeless, and scared, you don’t know who to trust (because you’ve no doubt had bad experiences in the past), and you don’t know what to do.
Flower Essence Number 1: Sweet Chestnut
This is the Bach Flower Essence for when you feel like you have no options, you’re in a devastating situation, perhaps fearing for your life, and don’t know what to do. It’s hard to imagine that a flower essence can help with that, but this one does. A lot of times people don’t ask for the right kind of help in these situations (if they ask for help at all). They’ve tried everything they can think of except for that. Or they try their best friend, their most trusted family member (or the police), don’t get what they need, and try no further. So from within the mindset of a point of view limited by great fear and bad past experiences, we naturally make up stories of what we could do differently to avoid “xyz” or “do things right” or whatever we believe will make things okay while staying within this family dynamic. But what really needs to happen is surrendering to the reality of the situation and getting the hell out of there—developing a game plan, getting help to run and hide if need be, etc. Sweet Chestnut helps with the “surrender to reality” part. It supports a person to come to grips with the process required, go through it, and find their courage and faith. It calms the mind, heart, and spirit and makes it possible to allow help in from where a person might not expect it, reach out to better possibilities, and do what needs to be done.
Along the way you will no doubt need Emotional Rescue (my Reiki-infused version of Rescue Remedy), or Releasing Worry and Fear or any number of other choices. But the first step, please note, is a shift from within. Every choice proceeds from there.
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Flower essences are used to assist with mind-body-spirit interactions and individual results may vary. They are extremely dilute which makes them quite safe. But because so little physical substance can be detected in a flower essence solution, these products are presumed to work on an energetic or vibrational level—something that cannot be adequately tested by western scientific methods. Claims made by me, therefore, are based on personal experiences and the evidence of the combined multiple decades of case notes by Dr. Edward Bach as well as Healing Herbs and Flower Essence Services (the companies who make the ingredients I use in my products). This is not, however, accepted medical evidence or substantiated scientific evidence from a modern allopathic point of view. I am not a medical doctor or licensed healthcare practitioner.
Statements made have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. The information provided on my blog, websites or by this company are not a substitute for a face-to-face consultation with a health care provider, and should not be construed as individual medical or mental health advice. Consulting with a health care provider is a must for anyone taking medications or working with a medical or mental health condition, and highly recommended before using any herbal product. Please consult your doctor or health care provider for any possible contraindications and/or interactions with current medications. I trust you to seek the medical guidance you need to use any of my herbal products healthily at your own risk.